Discretion by Design: How Private Households Vet Everyone They Hire

Household staff see everything. Schedules, guests, family conversations, financial documents left on a desk. For families with any public profile, that access is the whole reason vetting has to be serious. Households that use private household placement across Los Angeles and similar high-visibility markets tend to build screening systems most people never think about.

The good news is that these systems are not complicated. They are just consistent.

Why Standard Screening Is Not Enough

A basic background check can show you a person’s criminal record. It cannot tell you how they use good judgment, handle private information, or react when sharing a story could make them money.

Real vetting looks at three things:

• Trustworthiness. Will they protect what they see?
• Stability. Are they likely to stay, or leave in six months?
• Judgment. Will they make good decisions when nobody is watching?

Records checks answer part of the first question. The rest comes from process.

The Layers of a Proper Screening Process

Households that take this seriously use layers. Each one catches something the others miss.

Layer One: Identity and Authorization

• Government photo identification, verified in person
• Social Security verification
• Work authorization documentation
• Address history for the past seven to ten years

Layer Two: Records Checks

• County-level criminal searches in every county of residence
• National criminal database search
• Sex offender registry check
• Motor vehicle records if they will drive
• Civil records where relevant

County-level searches matter. National databases have real gaps, and many records only appear locally.

Layer Three: Employment Verification

• Direct contact with every employer from the past five to seven years
• Confirmation of exact dates, not just years
• Investigation of any gap longer than two months
• Verification that the reference is the actual employer, not a friend

Fake references are more common than most families realize. Verify the phone number independently before calling.

Layer Four: Reference Interviews

This is where the real information lives. Written letters are close to worthless. Phone calls are not.

Ask former employers:

• What were their exact responsibilities?
• How did they handle sensitive information?
• Were they ever late or unreliable?
• How did they respond to feedback?
• Why did the role end?
• Would you hire them again?

That final question, and the pause before the answer, tells you a great deal.

Layer Five: Social Media Review

You are not looking for anything embarrassing. You are looking for one thing: does this person post about their work?

Warning signs include:

• Photos taken inside previous employers’ homes
• Posts about famous or wealthy people they have worked for
• Complaints about former employers
• Location tags that reveal a private address

Someone who posted about a previous family will eventually post about yours. This is one of the clearest predictors available, and it takes ten minutes to check.

Check public accounts only. Focus on how the person behaves professionally and leave unrelated personal posts alone. Never ask for passwords or access to private profiles. 

Households running searches in more than one market often ask the team at SOFLO Domestics to apply the same layered process everywhere, so a caregiver hired for a second residence clears the same bar as the person hired for the first.

Confidentiality Agreements Done Right

A confidentiality agreement is standard practice. It is not an insult, and it should not be presented as one.

A workable agreement covers:

• What information is confidential, described specifically
• That the obligation continues after employment ends
• Restrictions on photography inside the home
• Social media rules regarding the family
• A clear policy on media contact
• What happens if the agreement is broken

Keep it readable. A short, plain-language agreement gets understood and followed. A twenty-page document gets signed and ignored.

Have an attorney review it. Rules on these agreements vary by state, and an unenforceable document protects nobody.

Household Privacy Practices

Documents only go so far. Daily habits matter just as much.

Strong households build these into the routine:

• A written photography policy, including phone cameras
• A clear rule that guests are never discussed outside the home
• Personal phones stored away during working hours in sensitive areas
• Locked storage for financial and legal documents
• A single designated point of contact for any outside inquiry
• Visitor logs for vendors and contractors
• Access limited to the areas each role actually needs

Set the Tone From Day One

Culture does more work than paperwork.

During onboarding, explain the reasoning. “We ask this because our family’s privacy matters to us” lands far better than a list of prohibitions. Staff who understand why a rule exists follow it much more reliably.

Then model it yourself. If the household discusses guests casually, staff will too. Standards travel downward from the principal.

Do Not Stop After the Hire

Vetting is not a one-time event.

Ongoing practices include:

• Annual background check refreshes, with written consent
• Motor vehicle record reviews for anyone driving
• A yearly reminder of confidentiality terms
• Immediate access removal when someone leaves
• Regular review of who holds keys, codes, and passwords

That last item is the one most households forget. Codes and keys accumulate over years, and nobody tracks who still has what.

Vet Your Vendors Too

Families often screen staff carefully and then hand a house key to a contractor nobody checked.

Apply a lighter version of the same process to:

• Cleaning crews and window services
• Pool and landscaping teams
• Renovation contractors and their subcontractors
• Pet care and grooming providers
• Event and catering staff

Ask vendors whether their employees are screened, require named individuals rather than rotating crews where possible, and have anyone with regular access sign a short confidentiality acknowledgment.

Conclusion

Discretion is not something you hope for. It is something you build.

Verify identity. Search county records, not just national databases. Call every reference personally. Review public social media. Put a clear, readable confidentiality agreement in place. Then reinforce the standard through daily habits and annual reviews.

Families who do this rarely have privacy problems. Families who skip steps usually find out which step they skipped at the worst possible moment.

Frequently Asked Questions

How far back should a background check go?
Seven to 10 years is common, but check your state’s rules.

Are confidentiality agreements enforceable?
Usually, yes. The terms need to be reasonable. A local lawyer can review the agreement.

Should I check social media?
You can look at public profiles. Do not ask for passwords or private account access.

How often should checks be updated?
Once a year is a sensible option, especially for drivers and childcare staff. Get permission before each check.

What if staff break confidentiality?
Write down what happened and deal with it promptly. Depending on the situation, you may issue a warning, end employment, or take legal action.